Friday, December 24, 2010

Annual Holiday Tradition (AHT)

In celebration of the Christmas/Holiday season, here's a reading of Charles Dickens' famous 'Twas The Night Before Christmas. I feel that my already-mediocre filmmaking skills are deteriorating and, oddly enough, I get more nervous with each subsequent video I make public. But, if one person finds some joy in this and other things that I do then I am happy - or at least that is how I rationalize it. I am a little lost in life right now. Enjoy!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

My new pants

For those of you who don't know, yesterday I bought a pair of pants. More specifically, I bought a pair of black Dockers straight fit pants.

Why?

In short, I have to wear black pants at work. I normally leave my pants at work overnight and put them on the following day. However, my pants were missing yesterday. I don't know if someone stole them intentionally, accidentally, or if they were just thrown out - but that doesn't matter. What matters is that I needed to get a new pair, so I did.

After asking around about where I should buy new pants, I concluded that JC Penney was my best bet. It seemed to offer the best quality for the best price.

After work, I went to JC Penney and browsed the pants in the Men's department. I figured I'd go with Dockers.

Why?

First of all, Dockers are a well-known brand. Whether or not you think they are cheap or cheesy, they are well-known.

One thing I did NOT want to do was buy a pair of pants that didn't fit well. I am so sick of doing that. I feel like for my entire life, I have just worn clothes that didn't fit well. Either they have been too big or too small. A lot of the reason for this is because I've neglected to put any time into trying clothes on before buying them. I've learned, however, that it's worth the extra 5-10 minutes.

With this in mind (i.e., that I wanted to buy pants that fit well), I took two pairs of black Dockers into the dressing room. One was a slim fit pair while the other was straight fit. I had a girlfriend (though we were not official) who had me buy skinny jeans in 2008. I tried to get into them but never felt quite comfortable wearing them. I didn't feel like they were "me". Whenever wearing them, I'd always be aware that I was wearing them and wondering if other people noticed as well. Perhaps this is because I have an external locus of control, but I just never felt comfortable in skinny jeans. I've finally come to the conclusion that I'm a straight-fit-man. I think pants that aren't baggy but don't squeeze your legs are the way to go.

Anyways, I tried on the slim fit black pants. They were not bad - not bad at all. The waist was 32 and the inseam was 30. I was surprised because usually 30 inseam pants are a little too long, but these were a good length. They did not look too hipster-y or too tight, but I could certainly feel some level of constriction. I still had to try on the straight fit pants.

I tried on the straight fit pants expecting them to be baggier than I'd wanted. I mean, the slim fit pants were almost perfect - wouldn't stepping up to the straight fit significantly increase the bagginess? To my surprise, it did not. The pants fit great. The waist was fitting (I know now not to worry if it's a little tight at first because it will stretch out as you wear the pants more), the thighs were comfortable but not baggy, and the rest of the leg was straight and not baggy.

What about the length (i.e., inseam)?

The 30" inseam worked perfectly. It rested on my shoe without bunching up [too much] or going over my heel.

Wow - this was great. The pants cost $34.99 which was a little more than I was hoping for. But you know what? I am so tired of trying to save an extra minute or buck on pants that fit/are good quality. I'd rather pay that extra $15 or spend that extra 10 minutes just to make sure that I've got pants that look good, feel good, and should last.

I checked out of JC Penney feeling very good about my purchase. No buyer's remorse, no second thoughts -- just satisfaction. It just goes to show that if you put a little more effort into what you're doing, the results are much better.

###

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Apartment Search (Part 6)

The sixth email in a series of emails I've sent to Eberhart Bros. regarding renting an apartment.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

The Fall Of Grammatical Accuracy

I guess that we do not need to use apostrophes to indicate possession anymore?

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Recent Study

Studies show that looking at this picture once a day can help improve your alertness, sense of humor, and sexual stamina:

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Apartment Search (Part 5)

This is the fifth email I've written to Eberhart Brothers, a NY-based company that owns and manages apartments. Find the previous four letters on this blog if you want!

Monday, June 7, 2010

State Farm commercial

Have you seen this commercial for State Farm?



First of all, what's wrong with bringing a sandwich somewhere to save money? What if it was a horrible restaurant that they were at? Or what if the guy has Celiac's Disease and has to eat gluten free foods?

Secondly, the whole gist of this commercial is that if you call State Farm you will not have to bring sandwiches to restaurants anymore.

Thirdly, why did State Farm select the particular narrator for this commercial? If he's a good marketing choice, then my butt isn't hairy.

Fourthly, if we are to buy into the "reality" of this commercial, we see that this narrator-guy is eating alone at a restaurant and watching another table. He's at a diner, alone, observing a table full of dudes, and trying to promote car insurance.

That's all. This is a commercial with a loser for a narrator and a table full of guys who make fun of their friend for having Celiac's Disease. State Farm - you've gone too far.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Links To Things

Today I made a new Brita music video. It can be seen here:

Brita Music Video

I also completed a list that breaks down all 50 states on my U.S. History site. It can be seen here:

States: A Complete List


A couple of days ago I made a new Uptight Larry. It can be seen here:

Uptight Larry, Ep. 21 - "Running"

Over a week ago, I wrote a new Examiner article. It can be seen here:

Giving New Meaning To The Big Apple

Response to Andre Iguodala


On April 22, 2010, Andre Iguodala, a Philadelphia 76er whom I follow, asked (via Twitter) that someone make a side-by-side picture of Alton Brown/Ernie Johnson and then tweet it "at" him. So, that's what I am doing.

I also think Channing Frye/Devin Harris look alike. Anyone in agreement?

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Apartment Search (Part 4)

The fourth letter in a series of letters I've written to Eberhart Brothers.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

More Age Surprises

Jamie Moyer, who pitched for the Philadelphia Phillies in 2009 and won 12 games, is 47-years-old.

Dwight Gooden, who retired in 2001 after 16 years in the Majors and who was recently arrested for driving while under the influence of drugs, is 45-years-old.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Stolen Idea

I swear I had this idea or one very similar to it:



Man, I really wish my job were to write beer or pizza commercials..that would be AWESOME!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Life Lessons Learned From Watching 16 & Pregnant

I just got suckered into (AKA, turned on and watched) another entire episode of 16 & Pregnant on MTV (the one following Chelsea and that A-hole Adam). Man, I see a lot of patterns:

1) The girls often make more of a commitment to the baby
2) The girls are reluctant to see their boyfriends' flaws (despite the disturbingly accurate/wise advice of their friends)
3) The guys are all weird dirtbags

Hmm..well, those are three patterns I've observed. I am amazed at the girls' abilities to step into the role of motherhood at such a young age..but the main thing that I walk away from the show thinking is that no one should have a baby at age 16..or 17..or maybe even 18..at least not 16. It's way too young.

Man, that show gets me every time.

NBA Age Surprise

Think fast: How old is Jermaine O'Neal?

Give up? Only 31. 31.

I can't believe it. Seems like he's older (although he's been in the league since he was 18). Nevertheless, he's younger than Kobe. That's pretty crazy.

I'm still amazed that Gilbert Arenas is only 28. Guy's been around for a while now.

This concludes my NBA player age post.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

NBA, 16 & Pregnant

I'd like to talk about two things which I love.

First, the NBA (although I've really gotten into college basketball this year, too). I think college basketball definitely has more energy and passion than the NBA and it's fun to see players playing who might never make a living playing basketball, but the NBA is fun to watch because of the players' celebrity statuses and because of the superior skills of every single player (compared to the skills across the board at the college level). That said, I am going to be a Milwaukee Bucks fan for the rest of the season. Normally, I am a 76ers fan; but they "suck" this year. I really like the Bucks. Brandon Jennings is a fireball. And while he is erratic, keep in mind he is a rookie and has the confidence level of a veteran! I also like their foreign imports Delfino, Ilyasova, and Bogut. Salmons was a great pickup and I like watching him since he was a former Sixer. Who else do they have? Oh yeah..Ridnour and the guy Luc Richard Mbah a Mboute (sp?)..they are fun players. In any event, I'm pulling for them for the rest of this season.

Secondly, I'd like to talk about 16 & Pregnant. What a good show. I think it provides great insight into the youth of today. But the news is disturbing: the youth of today do not seem that smart.

One thing that seems to be consistent, however, is how bad the future fathers treat their pregnant girlfriends and how reluctant the girls are to recognize their boyfriends' poor treatment. I mean, the guys usually treat the girls like dirt and the girls always say to their friends, "I'm hoping he'll turn around," or, "He says he's ready to step up to the plate and be a father," or, "I think he's going to change," and on and on...

It's disturbing. It also makes you realize what a tough situation that is! These 15/16 year old girls are so you and now they're faced with the decision of whether or not to raise a child? The girls are still kids and you want them to have a normal life growing up..experience high school, college, and beyond..and you want them to be able to raise their own child..but both of those scenarios don't seem compatible. It is tough!

So in short..I am rooting for the Bucks for the rest of this NBA season and 16 & Pregnant is an interesting show! (Some episdoes I've seen in particular include Valerie, Nikkole, and Farrah)

Monday, March 8, 2010

Fun Moments In Sports

A part of why I love watching sports is because sometimes you see players do something out of the ordinary [for them]. This happened last night when Andre Miller, who also dropped 52 points in a game earlier this season, slammed it home on a fast break:



Miller is not known for his flashy play or his athleticism. Rather, he's known for his good basketball IQ and wily play (pump fakes to draw contact and such). He doesn't even shoot threes. This dunk, then, came as a huge surprise and was pretty fun to watch. It reminded me of the joy I felt when the following play happened:


[Jason Williams dunks on Mario Elie]

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Examiner Catching On?

I received this email last week from one of the heads of the Examiner:



He was referring to a piece I wrote called: A disturbing Realty: Social Network's. I don't have the URL for it anymore because it has been taken offline. I only have the text (which I can send you if you request it).

I'm going to do all that I can to retain my position as Examiner blogger. I am upset that "Matt" is coming down on me with such severity when all I am trying to do is be the best NY Comedy Examiner that I can be. That is all for this post.

-John

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Obama Caught Holding Frog


Obama, above, was caught holding a frog while delivering a speech. No files have been charged.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

The Hurt Locker


I watched the movie The Hurt Locker last night. I felt it was very well done and would recommend it to others. However, it is very intense.

The main thing I remember from the movie is that the actor Anthony Mackie looks like Jimmy Rollins:

Saturday, January 23, 2010

A Sentiment


Luke Wilson's commercials are stupid.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Look-A-Likey


Gilbert Arenas (L.) from the NBA team the Washington Wizards and Jesse L. Martin (R.) from the NBC show Law & Order. The other day I thought they looked alike.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Jackson Reid Explosion

The Eagles are in the playoffs! Yes, this was established more than a week ago, but I was looking for an excuse to post this picture of Andy Reid and DeSean Jackson Celebrating. So, that's all I wanted to do. Go Eagles!