Sunday, May 31, 2009

Good-looking Doctor Admits He Enjoys Smell Of Own Farts

A doctor with long hair recently admitted that he likes the smell of his own farts.

"I know that I look young, I know that my hair is long, I know that I have soft lips, and I know that I like to smell my own farts," the doctor said, unprompted by any questions pertaining farts or their smells.

The doctor went on to say that he didn't know how to use a stethoscope and that his favorite thing to do when he got home was to sit on the couch naked and watch Wheel Of Fortune.

The doctor, who refused to remain anonymous, is named Brett Cushner. He is expected to be fired early tomorrow morning.

"That is fine. Then I can focus on my true passion," he said with regard to the expected layoff.

What is his true passion?

"Looking good. Ha ha, no just kidding. I don't know. I think I want to be an actor or something. I don't know."



Saturday, May 30, 2009

Tightly-Laced Athletic Shoes

This is one of my all-time favorite things. Tightly-laced athletic shoes with medium length ankle socks (preferably worn with khaki shorts by a male with semi-chubby/maybe-hairy legs). I spotted these today, so obviously it's been a good day!

What am I doing with my life?

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Clever Shirt

Today I got up and went down to the local corner store to pick up some milk. 1% Milk. On my way there, I passed a man in his early 40's wearing a green shirt with a pint of beer on it. The phrase "Irish Holy Water" was printed across the front of the shirt. It looked like this:

I got the joke. Irish people are notoriously big drinkers. Ireland also has a strong Catholic history. So it's a play on both of those things - Irish people's holy water is in fact beer. I thought it was funny.

I also thought it was funny that the gentleman wearing the shirt - a man in his early 40's, probably a dad (he looked well groomed, was wearing khaki shorts, and tightly laced athletic shoes) - woke up this morning and said to himself, "I am going to get dressed. What shirt would I like to wear? Oh, I will wear this green T-shirt that says 'Irish Holy Water' and has a pint of Guinness on it. The shirt that I payed money for. Yes, that will be what I will wear today."

Hey loyal readers, if you think that's weird, you know what's weirder? The fact that I'm taking time out of my day to write about this!

What am I doing with my life?

-John :P !!!