Thursday, February 26, 2009

Flattering Write-up!

Check it out, a cool write-up about me! You can see more at the Stand Up New York blog: Music Is A Joke

Act 2 - John Haskell

John Haskell - Robots and Geico!”

Our second semi-finalist John Haskell came to the stage with his idiots guide to “Reality TV” shows. However, as is usual for this talented young man, he got it all wrong, prompting judge Scott Gray to ask him if his Google was broken. An unusual geeky type, he always comes to the stage with his personal theme song, the crazy thing is it is never the same theme song.

Usually his sets start with some dis-embodied robot (a fan favorite) but this time the robot was not there. But midway through his set, the robot did chime in and let John know that it had just saved a ton of money on it’s car insurance by switching to Geico, then it gave a birthday shout out to Rokkie Gray, and went away obviously distraught at having been cut short by John.

Then John decided to do his “Punked” segment, and his set by improvising some songs with the audience’s reality tv suggestions.

You should really check out his set, here.

Friday, February 20, 2009

President Obama's Hope Dwindles

In a strange turn of events, the formerly optimistic President Barack Obama has become depressed.

"I just don't know anymore," Obama softly muttered into the microphone at a press conference on Friday morning.

This comes as quite a shock to the American people and could have devastating effects, especially at a time when nation's emotional stability is so vulnerable.

Michael Groton, a 30-year-old dad from Richboro, Pennsylvania is surprised. "I am surprised," said Groton, when asked if he was surprised.

Obama's depression was first noticed by his wife Michelle earlier this week.

"I knew something was up on Monday," said Michelle. "I walked into the kitchen and he was eating oatmeal. Oatmeal. Barack never eats oatmeal. He always has two eggs sunny side up and turkey sausage. I said, 'What's wrong, baby?' and he just hung his head low and said, 'Oh..nuffin'.' He literally pronounced the word 'nothing' as if the 'th' were two 'f's' by saying, 'nuffin''. Later that day, I called Barack in to dinner. He said go away and rolled himself in the blanket of our bed. The next day, Tuesday, he just crawled around the house in the blanket. He seems incredibly depressed."

White House officials say they are currently working with the President to alleviate some of his depression.

"We're trying to tell him a lot of jokes and tickle him," said White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel. "I hope it works. I'm not a doctor, but I think that is what we should do."

Whatever the case, it is imperative that Obama snaps out of this mental funk soon. The nation needs his optimistic oratory and hopeful speeches to return.

"We can't have a president who eats oatmeal, refuses dinner, and crawls around in a blanket," said Groton. "We need a president who does other stuff, like talk with nations and make plans on laws. Once we have that, an economic recovery can happen in bipartisan government. I know Obama won't stand for the earmarks of lobbyists, so I hope he can get it together. I have to go, though. I have been holding in a fart during this whole interview. Please don't print that in your story."


Wednesday, February 11, 2009