Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Heartbreak and Depression Consume My Morning Web-Browsing

There is nothing worse than waking up to the news that the one you love has gotten engaged:



Yes, it's true: this is exactly what happened to me this morning. Scarlett Johansson, 23, is now engaged to Ryan Reynolds, 31, although a wedding date has not yet ben set.

Don't do it Scarlett. Let's look at the pros and cons for me and Ryan.

Me: I am 23 years old like you (pro), Michael Jordan was number 23 (pro), Jim Carrey was in a movie called "23" (con), I think you're hot (pro), I only own an Xbox, not an Xbox 360 (con), I just saved a bunch of money by switching my car insurance to Geico (joke..so, pro).

Ryan Reynolds: He is an idiot (con), he dated Alanis Morissette (con), he was in Van Wilder (pro), his facial
scruff has been rumored as being too scratchy (con).

When you add up the pros and subtract the cons from them, I end up with a score of +2 and Reynolds ends up with -2. QED.

I'm just saying - Scarlett, if you're reading this (which you probably are), take a look at the objective, factual data I have presented as for why you should not proceed any further in this "relationship" with Ryan Reynolds.

In the meantime I am going to be in my room listening to My Chemical Romance.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Wikipedia pages that I have made edits to so far...

***Note: This list is here both for me to remember and keep track of my edits (so I can look back on them from time to time and laugh) and also for any of my [many] loyal blog readers who wish to check out the edits I have made. In short, it's kind of a personal "Wikipedia edit" inventory I am posting in a public domain.

1. "Andy Azula"
- Azula has received some criticism for his UPS Whiteboard advertisements...
2. "House of Payne"
- The show is well-known for its frequent advertisements...
3. "Reggie Evans"
- Evans quickly became a fan favorite in Philadelphia...
4. "Gerald Green"
- Green's career up to this point...

Friday, May 2, 2008

The Thoughts of a Masculist...


Ugh - for those of you who know me, you probably are already aware of my hypersensitive attention to issues of gender and sex. For those of you who don't know me, I wonder why/how you are reading this.

Anyways, there has been a commercial running the past few weeks that has disgusted me. It is an ad by Taco Bell for its new menu item, the Bacon Club Chalupa. Now I do not have any preexisting negative feelings toward Taco Bell or its ad campaign. Moreover, I have even enjoyed many of Taco Bell's past advertisements (e.g., the cute chihuahua who spoke Spanish). What I witnessed in this new ad, however, is neither cute nor canine nor even Spanish..what is the new ad? Blatantly sexist (against males). And as a huge masculist, I must protest and bring this atrocity to light.

In the ad, two good looking girls go to a night club where, according to one of the girls, "so many cute guys" are hanging out. The blonde female smells bacon, and the brunette with whom the blonde came reveals that she has hidden a Bacon Club Chalupa in her purse. Why? "Guys love bacon," she explains. Ew - the nerve to assume that all guys will just flock to bacon!? The commercial pushes the limit (and my nerves) further when 3 males immediately show up to the girls' table and say hello. I inferred from this ad (as it was clearly implying) that the men showed up because of the scent of bacon.

I think that I am speaking for a majority of males when I say that this ad is offensive and Taco Bell ought to rethink its latest ad campaign and show some sensitivity towards males. Until I see an ad where women flock to men at a bar because one has chocolate, sewing needles, and a full season of Sex and the City in his pocket - I think that Taco Bell has only succeeded in offending males.

Watch the ad.